'I'll Leave Your Head-Piece Open, On The Door-Step With The Front Door Open'

Lord of the Decks is a grime institution that needs reviving. It was consistent, and their soundtracks were some of the best ever and epitomised the sound. I always liked the first one, with Crazy Titch's Destruction vocal, Esco's version of Ice Rink 2, and N.A.S.T.Y's Take You Out. The first Lord of the Decks and its shameless imitation of The Lord Of The Rings is full of character, and 'The Fellowship Of The Mic' is poetry. It's refreshing to look back on something like that now, amidst the hygienic yet necessary professionalism that's needed to market yourself these days.

The fellowship of the mic was represented on the DVD for the third edition, which is one of the best bits of grime footage I've ever seen. They might lack quality control, but I love grime DVDs, and there's always priceless moments that have replay value.



The footage of Kano's, D Double's, Jammer's, and Lethal B's weekend in Berlin has a ridiculous amount of highlights, including Jammer getting into the car for the airport at 4 in the morning while still blazing, Kano in the recovery position on the plane and scared shitless while Jammer and Lethal do their best to drown out the public service announcement, and Jammer laughing at D Double E's bag because it was made by Hi-Tec.

Jammer is the centre of everything comic, but his tour-de-force is yet to come. The records are left in the hotel room with the keys, and Kano just stands there as Jammer tries to kick down the door. While yelling 'POOOOOWW'! 'POOOOOWWW'!

After numerous attempts, the Merkle Man flies in mid-air, both feet extended for the aerial dropkick, the camera going into slow-motion, and Jammer eventually breaks in, only to fall on the floor in the moment of victory.

Bizzle described it best, in probably the best monologue Germany has ever heard.

'It's all mad out here but, did you just see that shit? It's fucking nuts, Jammer fucking Superman Dread licking off fucking doors and shit, see me rudeboy, IT'S REAL, THE BIZZLE, WE'RE IN FUCKING GERMANY, you see me, man are late for the gig, man are on some BLACK PEOPLE'S TIME, YOU SEE MEEE'

A lively weekend with even livelier grime ambassadors. Over four years on, they've all done alright for themselves. Where have the characters gone?

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